Last Wednesday I turned 21 years old. It’s kind of unreal, because I’ve been saying “I’m grown” for the longest but I really feel it now! I’m not where I thought I’d be at 21…I’ve surpassed that. I’ve done so much over the past 21 years and I’ve learned a lot to. So today, I decided to switch things up a bit and share twenty-one things I’ve learned in my lifetime with you lovely readers. Since, I’ve been slacking on my outfit post, I’ve added some pictures of my Easter outfit that I never shared.

21.Never Always trust a big butt and a smile. (wink) Don’t act brand new. You’ve smiled and flirted your way out of some kind of trouble. I know I have.

20. Life is short. I know so cliché! But it is. I’ve lost so many classmates and friends. Most of them died before they even got close to 21. I’m not a YOLO-er (you only live once), I don’t do stupid stuff and blame it on being a young adult. I make smart decisions because I have seen people die from stupidity and I don’t want to follow in their footsteps. I try to be a fun and positive person, because that’s who I want to be remembered as. If you live your life right…living once is enough.

19. If you have to yell, you’ve already lost the argument. There used to be a time when I was going to let you know that you were wrong. They may have meant screaming over you…or knocking you out if came down to that. I’ve learned that you can’t fight everyone…(well maybe can’t isn’t the word…shouldn’t?). You should be able to talk things out in a calm and collective manner. And if the other person can’t talk calmly, then you need to remove yourself from the situation or ignore them…people really hate. That doesn’t make you scary…it makes you smart. This is not middle school anymore…there is no suspension…there is jail….and I’m definitely too cute for that. OK!

18.  Reading is fundamental. Call me a nerd if you want, but I enjoy a good book…not an e-book or Kindle books either. A book where I can turn the pages and feel the paper on my fingers. Omg, I love the library and Barnes and Noble, I can really stay in there for hours. Reading has helped me with so much….the way I talk, the way I write, and I think it kinda made me smart. I read everything I can get my hands on.

17. Money doesn’t grow on trees. I’ve always had a job. Even before I really needed money, I’d be babysitting the bad kids in my neighborhood. Since, turning 16, I’ve always had a job, most of the time I had more than one at a time.  I’d be so proud of my little checks and they’d be gone before I knew it. Now that I’m older, I’m more careful with my money. I mean, I have to be! My car note, water bill, rent, credit card, cable, and cell phone bills won’t pay themselves! I don’t know how my parents did it, but they always made it seem like money was endless…or maybe I was just being a kid. Anyway, I know this all to well now!

16. If you don’t exercise…you gain weight. Those people on TV who claim they just eat right and don’t exercise are lying. You  have to exercise. The freshmen (sophomore, junior, & senior) 15 is real! LOL

15.  Finish what you start. I’m a serial procrastinator. It’s crazy. I have a computer full of files of ideas,  businesses, events, etc. that I was supposed to do. I’m finally getting to the point where I taking these projects from start to finish. It’s much better for my brain and for my memory space on my computer.

14. I don’t need a boyfriend. I don’t really date that much (which is going to change…starting sometime soon.) I didn’t date in high school and I’ve only had one (and I use this term very loosely) “boyfriend” and I’m entering my senior year in college. Don’t feel bad for me, either, it’s totally my choice. I used to want a boyfriend, because my friends had them. But chile, I ain’t got time for the drama…until there is someone who meets my standards then I’ll be perfectly fine by myself. LOL

13. I’m a feminist! Growing up, I thought a feminist was an ugly lady who didn’t wear a bra, didn’t shave her legs or armpits, and hated men! That’s just the kind of image that society painted for me. I was the ultimate girly girl growing up…so if that’s what a feminist was…that was the last thing I wanted to be. As a got older, I learned more and more about the female body, women’s history, and women’s rights, I started to see a little of myself in these famous women in history. I’m not a radical feminist. Some have called me a lip-stick feminist… yes, to a certain degree. Others have referred to me as an individualist feminist…I could identify as such. I don’t really know. All I know is that I love the color pink, I collect Barbie dolls, on occasion, I like to wear short, tight, somewhat revealing clothing, but I also support the the rights of women and their interest. Rebecca West, a very famous feminist, summed this up way back in 1913: “I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.” 

12. Friends come and go. Luckily, I haven’t had any major falling outs with my friends, we either just grew apart or we mutually decided we didn’t need to be friends anymore. I do have friends I’ve been close to forever and I do have friends who I’ve met recently, who I’m sure I’ll develop a long-lasting friendships with. Don’t try to cling on to people, because you think you need friends, God always sends someone who will be an equally good or better friend for you. Drake is crazy…why wouldn’t you have new friends?

11. Family is everything. I have 5 younger sisters…so I just inherited 5 best friends. If you are lucky…or blessed rather, you have family that will support you no matter what. Cherish that. Love them. Don’t stay mad for extended periods of time. Family comes first.

10.  Be nice to everyone. Some people can be such elitist! I’ve been around individuals who treat waiters, janitors, and secretaries like crap. I learned early on to be nice to everyone…including those in service positions. This has helped me out tremendously! Janitors have opened up buildings when I left my belongings inside, waiters have given me free deserts, and secretaries have bragged about me to their bosses and I’ve gotten jobs! Everyone is a human being, treat everyone with dignity.

9. Never let the actions of someone else make you quit. When people used to make me mad, I’d just quit. Sometimes I didn’t even say anything I just wouldn’t come back. I know that I missed out on so many different opportunities because of this and this is something that I wish I could go back and change. Now I’m comfortable enough with myself to professionally and appropriately address the situation (or ignore it if need be) and continue about my business. If you quit…the other person wins! And I hate losing!

8. Pink is my favorite color. It will always be my favorite color. I’m not going to grow out of it…it’s just who  I am

7.  Your hair will grow back. I’ve struggled with my hair from a young girl. My hair would be thick and healthy one day and then it would fall it.  This happened recently too. I used to be devastated. Like I’d cry for hours, cancel all my plans, and then crawl off in solitude about my hair woes. It’s partially my fault, partially genetics, but now that I take better care of my hair, my issues are more and more rare. I don’t color or perm my hair any longer…being natural has helped my hair to be healthier. And chile, I love my hair weaves, so now I never really sweat…while it’s growing back, I’ll just go out and buy me some.

6. Keep your credit score good. Omg.  I’m so glad I listened to my mommy about credit! I still wish I didn’t have all the credit cards/accounts that I do, but I have them, so now I just have to continue  to use them responsibly. Who would’ve known that I could buy a luxury car, with very little money down, no co-signer, before I was 21 with a full-time job? Your credit is everything.

5.  Stand up for yourself. I’m so glad I learned this early on. People will try to run over you if you let them. You can be nice, but you don’t have to be a doormat. Stand up for yourself, if you don’t…no one else will.

4. I have to be an entrepreneur. So glad that I’ve learned this before I turned 30, I have an empire to build.

3. I am not my weight. I’ve briefly shared on the blog my issues with self image and eating disorders, but I’ve never gone into detail: there was a time when I hated looking at myself in the mirror and I felt as if food was the enemy.  I would skip meals because I wanted to be “skinny”.  I became obsessed with me weight…and even today I still find myself calling myself fat, but I no longer identify myself by how much I way…and that’s a big step! If you ever hear me use negative self-talk scold me…I need it!

2. Be yourself. This took  while for me to learn…in fact, it wasn’t until early last year that I fully embraced who I am. I’m a weirdo!! I truly am a strange human being. But everyone is weird and if you aren’t weird…that’s just weird. Don’t try to be someone else.

1. Pray about everything.   I’m so glad that I’ve always been in the church. I was baptized at 7 years old and I’ve had a relationship with God every since. I used to think that I could only pray before bed and before eating, but as I got older…I began to pray about EVERYTHING. From friendships, to large purchases, relationships, even test! It’ll make you feel better and God will take it from there. Philippians 4:6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

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