Some of you may not know, but I struggled with an eating disorder in the past. Shocking, right? Lots of young girls and older women struggle with eating disorders too. Today, I’ve invited Shannon Cutts, to share her eating disorder story , her tips on eating disorder recovery, as well as inform you guys of resources that she has available. If you know anyone or you a struggling with an eating disorder, take advantage of these resources so that we can all begin to live long, healthy lives!
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Thank you, Taylor, for the invitation to connect with your readers during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. This year, NEDAwareness Week happens from February 24 – March 3rd. This is a particularly special occasion since it is also the 25th anniversary of NEDAwareness walks!
As the founder for MentorCONNECT, the first global eating disorders mentoring nonprofit community, I can share that we are very proud to be members of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) network of nonprofit organizations. As such, we participate in NEDAwareness Week every year. Since our organization launched in 2009, we have grown into an international community of more than 2,500 members. Approximately 10 percent of our community is recovered from an eating disorder. These folks lead and mentor the other 90 percent, who are still working to recover. We are an all-volunteer organization (including myself and our board of directors).
MentorCONNECT is also my personal recovery story in a nutshell. I first started struggling with anorexia when I was 11 (in 1980). NEDA states that eating disorders are triggered by both genetics (biology) and environment (experiences) and this describes my experience perfectly. We have eating disorders in my family – my aunt and cousin have both had serious eating disorders. But it wasn’t until I went to middle school and my best friend told me I was too fat to be her friend anymore that I started withholding food from myself. Since we had been best friends since kindergarten, this really upset me and I thought if I lost weight she would accept me again.
I did lose a lot of weight very quickly after that – so much that she didn’t recognize me when I returned to middle school after summer break. I got a lot of praise for my “new look”, which reinforced my food behaviors. Because not much was known about eating disorders in the 1980’s, my doctors told my parents my weight loss was “normal” and I would grow out of it. The insurance company told my parents that they couldn’t treat something they didn’t have a name for. So I just kept on getting sicker, and even I didn’t realize that I had a disease. I was definitely frightened at times and I felt out of control, but I didn’t know I could do anything about it.
When I got sick enough to have to withdraw from college my freshman year, that is when I decided I had had enough (I share my whole story in my book, “Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back”). It was then that I became determined to figure out how to start eating again, even though I didn’t know anyone who could help me do that. It was also then that I met my first mentor, Annie. Annie saved my life in such a simple way. She got me to open up and talk to her and she told me that we would figure out what to do together. I was ashamed of my “food secrets” until I met Annie, and I was sure everyone would hate me if they knew. But Annie told me that every person struggles with something. She said that is what it means to be a human being. Annie told me that my struggles could make me strong and teach me great things. I wanted to learn those lessons so badly and we did a lot of brainstorming together to come up with a plan for how I could overcome my fear of food. It took time and lots of courage but eventually I recovered completely.
Today, MentorCONNECT is my way of offering the gift of mentoring to others. If I had not met Annie I am sure I wouldn’t be here today. She mentored me because she knew what it felt like to struggle and she had first been mentored herself. We all need mentors in our lives – whether it is because we are struggling with a certain issue or because we want to learn new things or get better at our jobs or relationships or deepen our faith. Mentors can be people we know or people we don’t know. We can also find mentors in pets, children and nature. In fact, anything and anyone can mentor us if we are willing (I have a whole section in my book on movies that have mentored me).
Recovering people often ask me to share what worked for me to feel motivated enough to recover and stay recovered. I think this is a great question because we can learn so much from sharing what works for us, and hearing ideas from others (this is a big part of what makes MentorCONNECT so special). So here are some thoughts – it can also be helpful to journal about these things as time permits.
- Figure out who mentors and inspires you. When you know who you look up to, it is easier to turn to those people and sources for wisdom and advice and ignore criticism and useless input from people who don’t know you or who don’t matter to you (I call these influences the “cultural mentor”)
- Consider each area of your life and write down your goals in those areas. You can consider areas like relationships (romantic, friends, family), career, spirituality, personal growth, finances, etc. What do you care about most in each area? What motivates you? What do you want to achieve?
- Get educated about your body and how to take care of it. Learn what your body actually needs in terms of daily nutrients and hydration. How much rest and exercise should you give it? What types of check-ups does it need and how often? We learn a lot when we get a car or a new computer about how to take care of it. We seldom spend even a fraction of that time learning how to care for our body, and we can’t trade a body in for a new one when it breaks down.
- Study yourself and see what kind of messages you are putting out there. Do you use “fat talk” (I feel/look so fat)? Do you put other people down for their appearance or for any reason – or keep hanging out with others who put you down? How do you spend your time – mentally, emotionally, relationally and in your school and work life? Are you living what you believe and standing up for what you say matters most to you in each area of your life?
While these types of contemplations are certainly not specific to eating and body image issues, they are the building blocks for any effective work to improve eating habits or body image. There was no WAY I could have recovered from my eating disorder so long as I thought “being thin” was my top priority in life. I had to realize that “being thin” in the way I was pursuing it was KEEPING me from enjoying any of what life had to offer or what I could offer to life in return.
For any readers who are currently struggling with body image or eating disorders, my book “Beating Ana” has 29 chapters’ worth of practical tips that I used to beat my eating disorder for good. I also recommend joining MentorCONNECT to find peer and mentoring support during recovery.
I want to say in closing that recovery IS difficult and don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t or it shouldn’t be. But it is also WORTH IT. I always tell recovering people that anything really worth doing is worth giving your best effort to. You will never be prouder of yourself for any accomplishment than you will be for overcoming such a big challenge like an eating disorder. And recovery is totally worth all the effort it takes – I can promise you that!!
With all my best,
Shannon
Shannon Cutts: www.key-to-life.com
Love and Feathers (pets as mentors – for fun J)
Readers can find my social media links on any of these websites as well.
