Back in May I was preparing to speak at an event about what small businesses can learn about marketing their business from Tinder. So in the months leading up to speaking, I had signed up for a Tinder account and began doing my research. I kept changing my bio with different information as well as my pictures (experimenting with how I was “marketing” myself) and waited for the matches to come. I used my real pictures so you know I was bombarded with matches. Chile, when I tell you 88.5% of those guys were bat-poop crazy, I’m not exaggerating. I pretty much swiped right to everyone, because I had to know what these people were thinking. I learned about first impressions in marketing, but now I have to share this list of the different types of guys I encountered on this app.
10 Types of Guys You Meet on Tinder
10. The Party Promoter Guy. So this guy post flyers in his moments and tries to invite you out every night…Monday-Sunday. He’s always talking about how he can get me a section and I can invite up to 20 friends…only if they are women. Guys pay $25 to get in. I guess he is marketing his business, but really, aren’t you here to meet possible dates? Those raggedy ass flyers you made in Publisher aren’t going to get me to go out with you or attend one of your ghetto events. Oh, one of the promoters I was messaging, ended up getting shot and was in a wheelchair, but he’s still promoting parties. (Insert appropriate emoji here)
9. The Old Enough Be Your Grandpa Guy. I’m not going to lie and act like I haven’t gone out on a date with a 40 year old guy. I have. Lol, when you are in college and someone wants to take you to a steakhouse and buy you drinks and whatever, you happily oblige them. I haven’t, however, gone on a date with someone who is 65. I don’t plan on it either, unless, it’s my husband 40 years from now. Chile, these old men are out here trying to find young women to be their sugar babies!! Before the match has even finalized, they are messaging you talking about they will give me whatever I want. What in the hell? Honey, you can’t give me what I want, because I want a nice looking, young man, without an ex-wife and children who are old enough to be my parents. Oh and I want a man with abs…nice sculpted abs.
8.The Foreign Guy. I couldn’t even understand their broken English to even hold a conversation. And honestly I was really freaked out by them trying to get me to move to Africa, Romania, or Dubai with them, that I ended up un-matching with them, for my own personal safety.
7. The Still Trying to Be A Rapper Guy. I can’t get away from these “rappers”. In real life, they are trying to get me to be featured in their home made music videos and on Tinder, they are trying to get me to come hang out with them in the studio. I don’t want to tear down anyones dreams but I just can’t with these “rappers” anymore.
6. The Fake Guy. His profile is clearly a bunch of pictures from the internet. Sometimes they will even be selling “designer” sunglasses on their profile. I marked them as a fake profile, because I’m just that person.
5. The Entrepreneur Guy. I’m an entrepreneur too but he has to let everyone know. He takes pictures of himself in his office and has to let you know that he was working all night and he has #NoDaysOff. Boy bye.
4. The Foot Fetish Freak Guy. This guy seems pretty normal until you see pictures of womens feet all over his moments. And then as you are chatting he casually starts asking questions about your pedicure preferences and then he just outright ask you to send him a picture of your feet. Lawd!
3. The “Come Through” Guy. He is clearly here to hook up with anyone and everyone. His moments are either memes insinuating sexual activities or either full blown nude pictures of himself!! He will ask you a few questions and then invite you to “come through” or come over for “movie night”. Boy you ain’t fooling nobody…you are trying to hit!
2. The Still At Home With Your Mama Guy. This guys was so proud of living with his mom. Now, there is nothing wrong with this, especially when you just graduated college or hit a hard time, but this guy said he was fine living at home and he didn’t plan on moving out anytime soon. He was 35. He also invited me over to have dinner with him and his mom and he wanted me to talk to her on the phone. Chile, I ain’t got time.
1. The Perfect Guy. Well apparently people are finding their soul mates on this here app. I haven’t and I don’t think I will. But congrats to everyone who found bae on Tinder.
Do you all have any Tinder stories, funny, scary, or just downright crazy? Please share!
